An Aviation Night Before Christmas

I came across this some years back on a forum, and decided it was too good not to share again. I make no claim that it is original to me. Whomever the author of this piece is, he/she did a bang-up job! And, as tis the season...  enjoy!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
in hopes that come morning, all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snog in their spots,
With gusts from two-ninety at 55 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
and settled down comfortably, resting on my butt.

When the radio lit up with a noise and a chatter,
I turned up the volumn to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
called for clearance to land, at the airport below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd sworn right away the call sign said "St. Nick"?
I ran to the panel to turn up the airfield lights,
the better to greet this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas 1, turnin' left base, to final".
And what to my wondering eyes to appear,
But, a Rutan-built sleigh, powered by eight Rotax Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glide slope he came,
reporting all the fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trixi! Now reporting Lincoln!!!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What Schnapps was he drinkin'?

The controllers were sittin', and scratchin their heads,
they phoned my office, and I heard it with dread,
they left their message, both urgent and dour:
"When Santa arrives, please have him call the tower".

He landed like silk, with sled skids 'a sparking,
His clearance was given; left on Charley, taxi to parking.
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh,
then stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho-ho-ho...."

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His helmet and goggles were covered with frost,
and his beard was blackened, from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled of pepperment, gone slightly stale,
He puffed on a pipe, but didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
and asked me to "fill it, with 100 low lead".
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.

I spoke not a word, went straight to my work,
and filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, a sigh of relief,
then picked up the phone for his Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
these reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
he completed his pre-flight from front to the rear,
Then put on his headset, I heard him call "clear"!

And laying his finger on his push to talk,
he called up the tower for his clearance and squawk.
"taxi down Charley, the southbound direction,
turn right to three-two-zero, at pilots discretion".

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's an RJ, inbound from the west".
I heard him proclaim as he retracted the skids
"Merry Christmas to all! We have traffic in sight".

How To Successfully Gain Me As A Follower 2

I originally posted this blog back on July 22, 2011, and it's time to update my list of Do's and Don'ts.

 

How To Successfully Gain Me As A Follower

I'm noticing an annoying trend on twitter. Maybe it's new, or maybe I've just now noticed it.

New followers who are spectacularly failing to receive my follow back.

This isn't going to be a rant. Think of it as a handy set of guidelines to tweet by. :)

I use Hootsuite to tweet with. On the profile page for a tweeter it gives me the option to look back through the last several tweets you've sent. After your initial profile in 200 characters or less, this is one of the major decision criteria I use for follow/no follow decisions.

It's not hard people. Seriously.

Do:

• Be interesting - If all you tweet about is the ducks you fed at the pond, I'm probably not the follower you want. Ducks can be interesting (And sometimes even tasty!), but if you're just ducks 24/7/365, I'm going to go load my blocking gun. As I'm writing this, @JStevenYork just shared a fascinating youtube video with his followers about the design of the lunar rover, and how it fit into an empty 5ft tall x 5ft wide x 5ft deep wedge-shaped storage space on the lunar lander. THAT is being interesting, folks.

• Be relevant to me - Okay, this one you CAN'T control, but it's really not too hard. I have lots of interests, you'll probably fit in one of them if you try. Just look at my log line for the blog for inspiration.

• Interact with your followers - Put the SOCIAL in Social media. If you aren't talking to people, you're not being interesting to me, and probably less relevant.

Don't:

• Be a spammer - You're just asking to get blocked and reported.

• Be a link whore - You links might be interesting, maybe even useful, but I'm not going to follow you. Obsessive re-tweeters fall into this category too. If all you do is RT, you aren't being "You".

• Fill your tweets with quotes of famous people - If all your tweets consist of these, you're not going to have me following you. 

Updates:

• Don't have more than half your profile  filled with pictogram symbols. Seriously, I'm not going to spend the time to decipher what you are trying to mean by No.7 or a music note. If I wanted to spend my time deciphering symbols, I'd take up the study of hieroglyphics. Sure, it might mean you like music, but that tells me nothing about what KINDS of music.

• Don't spend over a month on twitter and have only 3 re-tweets to show for it. You aren't being social, which is the point of "Social Media". That's a #TwitterFail to me.

See? Simple dos and don'ts. Follow them, and I'm more than likely going to follow you back.

Any tips for separating the wheat from the chaff? Feel free to share them!

Pacing Yourself

Technology. It's the sci-fi writer's best friend, and biggest cheat. We use it in so many ways, as settings, plot devices, a convenience and eye/brain-candy. But who can guess what will actually be available when that future time actually comes around?

After Tuesday's blog, Leah Petersen and I were discussing about the difficulties of writers predicting technology far enough into the future to fit a story's setting. She mentioned that though her story is set 350 years in the future, most of her tech feels like something we could have in the next 20 years. This got me to thinking about some of the factors that affect tech development.

One of the biggest factors I see is the problem of stagnation. Sometimes a technological innovation will undergo a period of dormancy while waiting for component technologies to mature, or for a new break-thru to push the boundaries of what's possible. Airliners were built out of aluminum as far back as the 1930s, and it's only within the last decade that the carbon-fiber skinned 787 is changing that. It offers more strength for less weight. Carbon fiber isn't new, it's been used for years in Formula 1 racing cars and in certain parts for airliners, but it's only recently that the technology has matured enough to attempt it's use in an airliner the size of the 787.

And, sometimes what's possible isn't always practical or realistic for other reasons. Look at aviation again. We went from the Wright Brothers first flight, a 120 foot long journey at not much faster than a running pace, to the Concorde, an ocean spanning Mach 2 airliner, in a little over 70 years. However, Concorde ended up being too expensive and impractical, only carrying between 92 and 128 passengers at a time, while a 747 of the same period could typically carry up to 452 passengers in a little over twice the flight time.

The oil crisis of the 70s effectively killed off the supersonic airliner from wider-spread use. Jet fuel prices are tied almost directly to the price of oil. $2 a barrel for oil? Sure let's build supersonic airplanes. When the price jumped to $10 a barrel? Fuel's too expensive now, we have to charge customers ticket prices they won't want to pay. (This sound familiar to anyone with a gas tank in their car over the last few years?)

That's something that we writers should always take into consideration when designing tech (or trying to) for our stories: is it practical for the characters daily lives? Is it something that a character can do without, or is it something extremely vital for survival?

Ultimately, it comes down to doing research, the writer's discretion, and what feels right. No two writers are the same, and neither well they share a specific sense of what's right.

How do you handle technology in your sci-fi stories?
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Don't Panic!

...he also had a device that looked rather like a largish calculator. This had about a hundred tiny flat press buttons and a screen about four inches square on which any one of a million "pages" could be summoned at a moment's notice. It looked insanely complicated, and this was one of the reasons why the snug plastic cover it fitted into had the words DON'T PANIC printed in large friendly letters. The other reason was that this device was in fact the most remarkable of all books to ever come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

                                               Chapter 3, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams was a genius and a prophet, but that's true of any good visionary sci-fi writer. Call it a Kindle, Nook, iPad, Netbook, tablet, or Smart phone, today some form of portable electronic device that let's us access the internet. (which is very convenient, as Adams says in relation to a printed-version of the Guide, "an interstellar hitchhiker would require several inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in.") Adams is just carrying on a long tradition of giving us glimpses into the future.

Jules Verne and H.G. Wells were famous and celebrated for this ability. Submarines that can travel thousands of miles under water without surfacing? Sounded far-fetched in Verne's time (the submarine as a viable war machine was it's infancy during the American Civil War), but only fifty years after Verne's death, nuclear powered submarines were  in operation, the first one appropriately named Nautilus.

More recently, tv and movies have led the way toward the future. Star Trek saw Kirk and Spock running around with flip-up communicators that allowed them to talk to the Enterprise from a planet's surface as clear as if both parties were in the same room. Now, people carry around cell phones that are not much bigger than a deck of playing cars, can reach around the world, and hold more computing power than all of NASA during the Apollo moon missions.

Star Wars hasn't been left out of the act either. TIE fighters were famous for mostly being Rebel target practice. However the TIE part (Twin Ion Engine) is now a viable engine technology for spacecraft, scooping up matter from the front end, and ejecting ions out the back end to propel the craft along. And, remember the tank of pink goo (Bacta) Luke floated in on Hoth while recovering from the Wampa attack? Now there is a gene therapy gel in testing that speeds up the natural healing functions of the body by as much as six times normal - no scuba mask needed.

Sci-fi writers are always looking forward, trying to imagine tomorrow, and the day after. Sure, there have been some miserable failures (I'm still waiting for my Jetson's car that folds up into a briefcase, personal jetpack, and my ticket on Pan Am's Lunar flights to the moon- thank you Stanley Kubrick & 2001: A space Odyssey) but there have been resounding successes. So, the next time you see some far-out concept in a book or movie, something seemingly impossible and outrageous, remember: DON'T PANIC! That just might be the future you see.

Thanks to @LeahPetersen for inspiring today's blog post. You can blame her for this drivel. :D
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Something In The Air

Stepped outside at 7am this morning and the temperature was about 62F. There was a slight nip in the air that felt soooo refreshing after the  blazing Texas Summer we've been having. There was something else in the air this morning. Anticipation of something that comes around once a year.

It felt like NaNoWriMo.

It's a good thing too. I've been drawing a blank as to what I was going to write for NaNo this year. It's really been hard to even think about November this year. Don't get me wrong, I have some ideas floating around in the back of my mind- I always do. I just don't know what I'm going to write.

I should do the responsible thing and work on one of the novels in the Hunt Starfire series. Or, finish the first one and start on the second on. Those seven novels won't write themselves. Or, one of my other partial  projects. I've only got several laying around waiting for a storm of writing to happen upon them.

I really keep thinking about a shiny I've been slowly putting notes down about, but I'm trying to behave and not start yet another new project until I get something finished.

So, I'll let you give me some input as to what I write for this year's NaNo.

1. A Hunt Starfire novel - the chronicles of a mercenary star-fighter unit.
2. Finish "Thieves at Heart" - space pirates. Enough said!
3. Finish "Jameson Hewitt Airship Mystery" - a steampunk mystery set on a transatlantic airship.
4. Finish "Hammerfist" - A tale of three bounty hunters.
5. Give in and  write the New Shiny Idea - lost science ship (this one needs a lot of planning first).

There's your options. I'll keep the voting open until the end of the month, and announce the winner in October. Go Vote!

On The Map

After three straight posts about social media, I decided to give that dead horse a break.

Yesterday marked two months since this blog was started. Not an exciting anniversary, I know, but considering I figured this blog would get abandoned after the third post, it's a noteworthy occasion.

So, what have I done in 2 months of blogging?

28 posts (29 when you count this one), including: A six pack of book reviews, a post about a crashed B-17, a guest post by N.L. Gervasio to help promote her new book, a look at what the impact of airline deregulation can teach us about the current state of the publishing world.

1706 views. I'm sure most of these are search bots, but I do appreciate my real human viewers. :)

34 different countries I've received views from. This is a number that I am certain of, there maybe more. Blogspot's statistics are a let down here. The stats only list the top 10 most viewed from countries for any time period selected (now/day/week/month/all time). So, I started a notepad document listing any new countries I saw in my stats.

In addition to the list, I started a Google map and pinned each country on the map. Anyone who knows me for very long has found out I have an interest in maps. I've made maps for critique groups before, to plot out who was located where in the metroplex, so we could decide on where to meet in a centralized location.

My viewer map can be found here. If your country isn't already on the map, feel free to leave a comment with your country and I'll be glad to add you to the map.

Pandering, or why I don't FB.

I am sick and tired of the pandering and pan-handling that goes on online. I'm not talking about scams by the Nigerian Royal Family, or winning the British Lottery (twice, the Australian Lottery three times last week, and Microsoft paying me for everyone I forward and email to, and for everyone THEY forward it to...). I'm talking about five little words that have become VERY damned annoying.

"Like my page on Facebook".

Facebook (yes I'm talking about you, you evil mountain of corporate snot) is now requiring users to acquire a certain number of 'Likes' to secure personal URLs or other 'perks'. One, this is a dumb-ass idea. Two, Facebook users are now having to pollute OTHER social media sites to beg and pander for 'Likes' on their FB pages.

This is damned annoying, especially for the 5 of us in America who aren't on Facebook.

Watch television. Most commercials for national products end with the Twitter or FB logo and "Follow us on Twitter" or "Like us on FB". It used to be "Connect with us on FB". Connect sounds less intrusive, more friendly - "Hey, let's get together and hang out".

'Like me' and 'Like us' sounds so whiny and needy you just want to spend a Sunday afternoon holding them under water, for 20 minutes at a time.

I know what's going on, and I don't like it. Facebook is pulling the old carrot & stick routine. They dangle a prize out there, like a personalized URL if a user receives enough 'Likes'. Then, they stick advertizing down the throats of everyone who comes to "Like" a user's page. Why? Because Facebook makes their money from paid advertizing.

I know what some of you reading this are going to say - "Then stay off Facebook", and I do. I don't have an FB account. But I know people who do. I've seen enough to know how it works. It's about Facebook making money off of you and everyone who comes to 'Like' your page.

If you're a FB user and you enjoy doing the 'Like' thing, that's fine. More power to you. The whole 'Like me' thing screams of high-school popularity contest stupidity to me. "If you're popular enough, we'll let you into our clique." Barf.

My problem is, this stupidity is spilling over into other social media, with people begging for Likes. If you want/need likes on FB, push it on you FACEBOOK friends. Don't come to Twitter, or Google+ and beg for it. You're just clogging up my stream, and I don't want to see it.

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If you like what you see in this or any other of my posts, feel free to spread the word around. No one's going to make money off the traffic that comes into my blog. :D